This is one of two letters that I’ll be writing to the important women in my life. This one is to my wife. I don’t know who she is but I wanted to write this for her. Someday when she reads this, she knows that I loved her before I even met her.

To my wife…

I don’t know if our paths have crossed yet. If so, then we aren’t at the point of where we are meant to be together. If you’re still out there, know I’m waiting patiently for you. I’m not going to search for you because we’ll connect when the time is right for both of us.
I wonder what you look like. The color of your eyes, the way you smile. How you sound. The smell of you. How your skin feels, every inch of you. One thing I know is this: I love you. I don’t know you but in my heart, I love you. Just as I love our unborn children. You haven’t made your presence known but that doesn’t change the love I feel.
I know that who you are is someone I need and want in my life. You’ll be my best friend, my rock, my lover, the woman standing next to me though good and bad times. Yes, we will have our ups and downs but I will not give up so easily nor will I let you run away from a good thing. Far too many people run away when they get scared of something bigger than themselves. Sometimes that big thing can change our lives for the better.
I don’t know where I’ll be as far as my transition when our paths cross. I may be starting to grow facial hair and have acne like a 13 year old boy. I may have completed my chest surgery and working towards my gender change. I just know wherever I am, it won’t matter to you because in your eyes, I’ll be the man you want and have been waiting for. You’ll be there to hold my hand through any obstacles and triumphs that we experience together. I say together because once you’ve entered my life, this becomes your journey too. You’re going to my partner in life and we’ll experience all of its wonderfulness.
Will I date until then? Yes. I won’t shut myself off to that because I believe everyone I meet is in my life for a purpose, significant and non significant. Know this though, you’ll be the only one who will complete me as a whole. Then I’ll understand why it didn’t work out with the people in my past.
So I’m just waiting to meet you. I hope you think of me and wonder where I am, just I wonder where you are. I know you’re getting here as fast as you can.(HIMYM reference)
I’ll be here.

Love,
Jaek

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